Ceol
Ceol of Wessex is the subject of Part 4 in the 85-part series on Great Britain’s monarchs through the ages, and he is the first ruler of Wessex whose private life overshadowed his exploits as king.
Born in 584, Ceol won the right to be King of Wessex for a year after defeating his uncle Ceawlin in a game of chess at the age of eight. One year later, Ceawlin was murdered and Ceol’s claim to the throne was undisputed.
History has often seen children become monarchs through unhappy circumstances. A little boy or girl is sometimes spared the slaughter that hacks down the rest of the Royal Family, and this little whelp becomes the ruler of a nation simply because no one else with the right lineage is available. This was not the case with Ceol. As an eight-year-old boy, mere months after learning how to read and use the chamber-pot, Ceol duped his uncle into surrendering the Crown of Wessex. It may be the only time in history that a pre-teen, without any outside help, orchestrated the downfall of a monarch and established himself as the logical replacement. Any little boy capable of completing such a coup probably deserves to stay in power, and the people of Wessex were content to let things be.
Ceol’s reign, though short, was quite a bit more peaceful than those of the Wessex kings before him. The British Isles were as chaotic as they had been over the previous century, but Wessex had declined as a power and was no longer involved in the massive struggles taking part along the border of North Wales and deep in the heart of England. This inactivity at the international level was more than compensated by Ceol’s behavior within the courts of Wessex.
Ceol, being a child, quickly gained notoriety for making rash and unwise decisions. In 594, he outlawed beards and tried to open a chain of brothels. These decisions were made at a time in history when the only blades sharp enough to cut hair were found on swords, and Ceol’s beard reforms were met with fierce, stoic resistance. Futhermore, the men of Wessex had difficulty understanding brothels and wenches, and profit was hard to come by for young Ceol. His subjects saw him as harmless and even a bit amusing, so Ceol’s foolishness did not cost him the throne.
The biggest crisis Ceol faced during his reign took place in the year 597. David, the massive squid that commanded the armies of North Wales, had suffered a humiliating defeat at the hands of Ceol’s uncle Ceawlin many years earlier and had planned a revenge that would both humiliate Ceol and cripple Wessex. A cuttlefish, whose name is lost to history, was able to imitate Ceol so perfectly that people thought that he was indeed the King of Wessex. The imposter made political moves that weakened the kingdom, and it was not until Ceol returned from an archeological dig that it was discovered that two kings seemed to be ruling Wessex.
The real Ceol and his doppelganger dueled in front of the nobles of Wessex, but the cuttlefish and the 13-year-old were deadlocked. Exhausted, both combatants agreed that there must be a better way to decide the real King of Wessex. Ceol (the boy) declared that both claimants should be shot so that the people of Wessex would never be led by an impostor. This selfless act led the nobles to make a correct decision about which Ceol was the true King, but this decision was made after both had been executed. The tentacles hidden under the impostor’s frock were also a giveaway.
With Ceol dead at the tender age of thirteen, his crown was passed to his older brother Ceolwulf. Ceol had fathered a child, but it was agreed that the older, more violent Ceolwulf should get a shot at leadership before giving the crown to the infant son of a teenaged madman and an unemployed harlot.
Born in 584, Ceol won the right to be King of Wessex for a year after defeating his uncle Ceawlin in a game of chess at the age of eight. One year later, Ceawlin was murdered and Ceol’s claim to the throne was undisputed.
History has often seen children become monarchs through unhappy circumstances. A little boy or girl is sometimes spared the slaughter that hacks down the rest of the Royal Family, and this little whelp becomes the ruler of a nation simply because no one else with the right lineage is available. This was not the case with Ceol. As an eight-year-old boy, mere months after learning how to read and use the chamber-pot, Ceol duped his uncle into surrendering the Crown of Wessex. It may be the only time in history that a pre-teen, without any outside help, orchestrated the downfall of a monarch and established himself as the logical replacement. Any little boy capable of completing such a coup probably deserves to stay in power, and the people of Wessex were content to let things be.
Ceol’s reign, though short, was quite a bit more peaceful than those of the Wessex kings before him. The British Isles were as chaotic as they had been over the previous century, but Wessex had declined as a power and was no longer involved in the massive struggles taking part along the border of North Wales and deep in the heart of England. This inactivity at the international level was more than compensated by Ceol’s behavior within the courts of Wessex.
Ceol, being a child, quickly gained notoriety for making rash and unwise decisions. In 594, he outlawed beards and tried to open a chain of brothels. These decisions were made at a time in history when the only blades sharp enough to cut hair were found on swords, and Ceol’s beard reforms were met with fierce, stoic resistance. Futhermore, the men of Wessex had difficulty understanding brothels and wenches, and profit was hard to come by for young Ceol. His subjects saw him as harmless and even a bit amusing, so Ceol’s foolishness did not cost him the throne.
The biggest crisis Ceol faced during his reign took place in the year 597. David, the massive squid that commanded the armies of North Wales, had suffered a humiliating defeat at the hands of Ceol’s uncle Ceawlin many years earlier and had planned a revenge that would both humiliate Ceol and cripple Wessex. A cuttlefish, whose name is lost to history, was able to imitate Ceol so perfectly that people thought that he was indeed the King of Wessex. The imposter made political moves that weakened the kingdom, and it was not until Ceol returned from an archeological dig that it was discovered that two kings seemed to be ruling Wessex.
The real Ceol and his doppelganger dueled in front of the nobles of Wessex, but the cuttlefish and the 13-year-old were deadlocked. Exhausted, both combatants agreed that there must be a better way to decide the real King of Wessex. Ceol (the boy) declared that both claimants should be shot so that the people of Wessex would never be led by an impostor. This selfless act led the nobles to make a correct decision about which Ceol was the true King, but this decision was made after both had been executed. The tentacles hidden under the impostor’s frock were also a giveaway.
With Ceol dead at the tender age of thirteen, his crown was passed to his older brother Ceolwulf. Ceol had fathered a child, but it was agreed that the older, more violent Ceolwulf should get a shot at leadership before giving the crown to the infant son of a teenaged madman and an unemployed harlot.
posted by Simon at 8:48 PM
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